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                [IELTS Writing Task 2] Physical or mental strength is important for success in sport?

                trvaanh 10 / 20  
                Mar 3, 2020   #1
                TOPIC: Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport while others think that mental strength is important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

                It is controversial that whether physical power or mental effort has more importance in sport victory. While I believe that spiritual strength well contributes to an athlete's proficiency, I would also argue that physical fitness plays a pivotal role in sport.

                On the one hand, it is no doubt that emotions have certain impact on the performance of one player. Before the game, if he is encouraged by his surroundings, the athlete does obviously enhance his self-esteem as well as self-confidence and is likely to make greater efforts to deserve his love he has received. In contrast, witnessing bad events right before the sport contest, individuals seem to be over-concerned and disappointed. As a result, they cannot keep a calm feeling and be distracted from the match. The situation even gets worse when considering team sport as the lac of productivity of one member becomes a black hole at his role play and may also make others frustrated and easy to lose temper.

                On the other hand, there are a host of reasons why success in sport requires physical well-being. Firstly, when participating in any training program or sport game, health check is a must. People are only accepted to take part in sport games if they satisfy all the necessary requirements. Even if one who has mental strength but cannot meet the physical standards such as weight or endurance is eliminated. For example, a basketball player is demanded to be at least 1,65 meters in height in Vietnam. Secondly, sport training is a tough process lasting for a period of time before getting ready for official matches. Without persistence and stable body-building, no one can follow sport career in a long term.

                In conclusion, despite the fact that athletes' feelings influence their result, I am of the opinion that success in sport mostly rely on physical fitness. Coaches should allocate more money on physical training in order to guarantee the health of sport players.
                Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,414 3390  
                Mar 3, 2020   #2
                Examiners hate it when students use terms that exaggerate the topic presentation in the original. Try to avoid using terms such as "controversial topic" when none is implied in the original essay. Also, make sure to respond properly to the prompt requirement. In this instance:

                OP: Discuss both views and give your opinion.
                YR: While I believe ...I would also argue ... role in sport.

                The proper paraphrase is:

                There is a public belief that an athlete's natural hardiness provides the reason for winning in athletics. However, some individuals explain that intellectual abilities provide more reason for a sports person's success. These opinions make for an interesting discussion topic on an individual scale. Contemplating the two sides of the discussion will help me assess both considerations.

                This is a 5 paragraph essay. You only provided 4 paragraphs so you do not have the correct format for this essay. TA points will be deducted because of it. Additional points deductions will be produced by the lack of proper discussion presentation as well. While your discussion is good, when you do not properly follow the instructions (use of ownership words, 3 body paragraphs, etc.), the tendency will be for your essay to score downward instead of upward on all accounts.

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