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                IELTS Writing Task 2: Knowledge taught at school

                nimbus2k2 8 / 25 6  
                Jul 31, 2019   #1

                compulsory subjects issue

                School should be a place where students work toward academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery dressmaking, and woodwork should be not taught at school as they are best learned at home from family and friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

                Schools are the academic environment for students to gain intellectual knowledge and advance towards academic goals, therefore it is unnecessary to learn domestic skills at school. From my point of view, this statement is true to some extent.

                Schools are the place for academic targets and achievements. The knowledge students receive at school is undoubtedly important since it does not only change students' concept of the world but also prepare them for the future. The process of absorbing professional knowledge takes longer time and more effort than getting familiar to soft skills. Besides, basic culinary skills or needlework can be taught outside school or self-learned, while school subjects required to be taught by qualified teachers.

                On the other hand, adding these skills to schools' curriculums presents its benefits. Firstly, as these are vital life skills or even survival skills, students are certain to learn them at some point of life. Learning anything at a young age produces more positive results compared to learning later in life. Secondly, it is unfortunate that a number of adults did not realize the importance of these skills as children, then growing up regretting not learning them sooner. Hence it is worthy to get acquainted to domestic skills at school as part of the timetable since they will come in handy in the future. For instance, when students go to university and live on campus, they will be able to cook for themselves or do the washing.

                In conclusion, compulsory subjects at school may not include soft skills as academic knowledge is the main concentration. However, these skills should be considered as the complement for the curriculum for the sake of students.
                Maria - / 1,099 389  
                Jul 31, 2019   #2
                Hi! It's good to see you again on the forum.

                First and foremost, you can improve your first paragraph by ensuring that you keep a structured writing approach. This, of course, means that you simplify your first sentence to create a more concrete thesis statement that will be the basis of everything else in your essay.

                I also recommend improving your overall argumentation when it comes to building the essay's foundation. Try to explain more thoroughly why there's a difference between these hard academic skills and domestic-based ones. If you can give out examples (even a small simple one), it would as well be beneficial for your text.

                Everything else in the essay is decent.
                OP nimbus2k2 8 / 25 6  
                Aug 2, 2019   #3
                Thank you @Maria. I'll try to improve my essays according to your thorough advice.
                lucy1990 2 / 3  
                Aug 2, 2019   #4
                HI,there, I found many grammar mistakes,for instance, "The knowledge students receive at ..." receive should be proofed into received; and " while school subjects required to be ..." required is a mistake.

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