Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 3

Essay about the effect of technology using from home

hglingg 2 / 3 2  
Feb 17, 2021   #1

working or studying remotely

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Although not new in modern life, networking has attracted more and more public attention, especially with the advent of online social networking channels. Debatable as it is, the positive aspect of technology use as a way to work and study is somewhat superior to its downside.

Given the fact that technology has become more economical and available, it is easier for adults and children to work and study from home. For education, the ministry of education started to intergrate technology into classroom learning since there was a number of students incapable of going to school. Moreover, with online class, teachers can adjust or tailor teaching style easily as they can correct it on their lessons. It is easily for students to keep up with the syllabus because they can both listen and search for information during the class. Adults who work from home can keep up with the workload and may have the frequency of long working hours. Without difficulties, online workers would work extra hours and may have a good performace appraisals.

On the other side, of the commonly-heard problems, the most serious of them is the fear that the students may absent from online classes without permission. Workers are likely to rely on the colossal of time they have to submit their work. Studying and working from home can keep both students and workers away from interactive learning, results in the lack of practical skills.

All in all, the negative of using technology instead of going to school or workplace appear to be overtaken by the positives. Even conservative people, find it hard to reject the power of technology, as it may help our work easier to be done.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,317 3351  
Feb 18, 2021   #2
When writing these essays, you should first outline the discussion topics and discussion consideration. That will help you better understand the type of response to use for this essay. In this case:

Discussion Topics:
1. many adults are working from home
2. more children are beginning to study from

Reason: technology has become cheaper and more accessible.

Guide Question: Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

After having outlined the important aspects in a manner similar to what I used, you can see that there are 2 opinion paragraphs to be presented. However, these are presented first in the restatement as the last 3 sentences representing:

- Personal opinion regarding the given topic based on the reason provided (thesis statement)
- One subject reason for each discussion topic ( adults working from home (1 topic), students studying from home (1 topic).

Then the reasoning paragraphs will have 2 reasoning presentations based on each representative topic (adult WFH and children SFH). These discussion paragraphs should have a singular focus of defending your positive opinion. This is not a comparative discussion. Your current presentation uses "networking" as a reference, which is incorrect since the technology in use is "video conferencing". Social media channels are not used for wfh and sfh, only call video and call conferencing systems.

Your explanations are not properly represented. You only focused on explaining the part that pertains to you, which you understand, SFH. Your WFH explanation is really insufficient. Your essay will be judged to be under developed even though you wrote a high number of words. The explanations and opinions are not fully applicable to the requirements as I outlined above.
Pham Bien 1 / 1  
Feb 18, 2021   #3
In the conclusion, the phrase "All in all" is quite informal, so I suggest you use "In conclusion" or "To conclude", ....
Also, grammatical errors ..., which results in the lack ...
All in all... the negatives.....

Home / Writing Feedback / Essay about the effect of technology using from home