What's important in the growth of a person?
After birth what will play a major role in one's personality and development. Nature or Nurture? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is a controversial debate as to whether nature or nurture plays a vital role in the personality and development of an individual. I think that nurture is really important factor in judging the human perspective. I will elaborate in upcoming paragraphs to support my view point.
Nourishment is an integral part in life of human beings. Even if the nature of a person is not good then it can become better by nurturing the goods habits in them. For example: if a plant is becoming wither then we can give back shinning life to plants by nourishing it with pesticides and water then it starts blossom again so is the same case with people. Moreover, it is generally seen that if a child has been adopted by other family and later on if anybody compares that child with the sibling then we hardly find any similarity between them due to the difference in upbringing of a child. Thus, it is the nurture which is important in development.
Furthermore, various researches have evidenced that children emulate the footprints of their parents, whatever they will see in their family they will always follow the same way. Therefore, it is significant to act sagaciously in front of the kids otherwise it will ruin their life. Parenting is quite crucial if they will inculcate the good habits in their child then nature of the kids would definitely will become fantabulous on its own.
All in all, I believe that nurturing is important in the growth of a person but indeed a difficult step to implement and parents need to act cautiously while developing their child.
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If you believe that nurturing is more important than the nature of a person, then there is no need to include a discussion sentence about the nature of man. You do not have to do a comparison discussion because you are being asked to explain and defend the point of view that you support. When you do a comparative discussion, the tendency may be for you to try and equalize the discussion, which means you will show indecision rather than a solid opinion in your presentation. This could result in point deductions for you because you are "uncertain" of your position. The uncertainty is further fueled by you reference to "I think" when presenting your nurture opinion in the paraphrased statement. Remove all terms of uncertainty because the essay will score less that way. Always be strong and opinionated regarding the point of view that you support.
By the way viewpoint is one word, not 2. It is also important that you show the strength of your support for your pov by using stronger adjectives to represent your information. Presentations such as:
I think that nurture is really important factor in judging the human perspective.
Would have had a strong impact on the reader if you had instead shown conviction in your presentation:
I believe that nurturing is a key factor in judging...
You cannot convince the reader about your point of view if you show uncertainty. Remember that. The first paragraph would have been more impactful if you had also enumerated the reasons that support your point of view. These would have responded to the instruction:
Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
By enumerating your reasons or stating your reason, the reader will be hooked and be interested in what you have to say in the reasoning paragraphs.
In paragraph 2, your topic sentence does not help to move the essay forward. It is actually a separate statement from the rest of the paragraph. You should have started on the second sentence instead, which was the sentence that helped move your discussion forward in that paragraph.
Always use the concluding summary as precisely that. A summary of the previously presented topic, discussion points, and explanations. That will help you close the essay on the strongest note possible as you will be able to highlight your ability to restate the topic and other discussion points in 2 ways. That will increase your TA, LR, and GRA scores.