Dear all. I am applying for a scholarship in Political Science and came to this question. Please review my work. I really want to receive this award. Any comment and suggestion are more than welcome. Thank you for your time. REALLY! Its Masters program.
stabilization and democracy in mongolia
As developing country like Mongolia, professional human resources are needed to secure a healthy democracy. In rapid growth of globalization, Mongolian government should not be on standby but be a player. I want to contribute in political stabilization and in healthy democracy. Knowledge gained from this award will be put into best use for sharing it and contributing in governance. Advising has always been my strong skill so I wish to use my skill and knowledge for the better growth in my country.
Kindly confirm first is there any character limit (500 words) or you have just answered it to your best abilities ?
I think what you want to say is "
As In a developing country like Mongolia"
professional human resources its a very general term to use, I think you should use some specific term.
Advising has always been my
strong skill forte (it sounds better)
Overall I think your concept is very good, but there is lack of flow in your answer, its not smooth, if there is no word limit you can use the same idea and improve it a lot.
Thank you very much. Your review means a lot. Will improve as suggested.